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Helping Young People with Anger and Aggression
Cheryl Massey, Chartered Psychologist and Systemic Psychotherapist at Natural Health, discusses what may lead to anger and aggression in young people...
The state of anger, which leads to aggression, is generally brought about by unfulfilled hopes or desires. Within a school setting, it is difficult to voice these frustrations or confusions, especially if the young person has other problems like a learning difficulty. Within a home setting, it can lead to huge family problems as everyone tries to cope.
Aggression is a voice to explain to others that the young person feels unfulfilled, different, confused, frustrated. It certainly is an unacceptable voice, but if adults supporting might observe what triggers could possibly be leading to the anger, then it is possible such scenes might be minimized.
Young people might need to access ways of thinking about anger, and this is often via moral stories and how these might be explored. Even adolescents can be helped by thinking about “third person” anger/aggression. This allows them to think about things in an external way, avoiding blame. This is more comfortable than deconstructing their own aggressive episodes, and leads to learning.
Minimising the possibility of aggression – some suggested actions:
- Elicit from the young person how others might tell if he is angry – encourage him to self monitor – what triggers should we and he look for?
- Give the young person an established route to leave the room if he feels that he is getting too angry.
- Establish that anger is acceptable but aggression is not to be tolerated [this may need some visual learning with consolidation exercises].
- Recognise arousal – observe and watch for triggers such as: loud voice,agitation, threatening gestures, holding gaze, invasion of personal space, physical tension, towering posture, unusual or inconsistent behaviour, verbal threats, ritualistic repetition [repeating phrases again and again], quiet threat, highly controlled threat.
- Set the boundaries at the beginning ie what is not acceptable and be explicit
Use your own non-verbal communication sensibly – avoid invading his personal space, use open posture and avoid face to face interaction
Show concern not blame - Personalise yourself ie use “we” and “us” eg “how can we deal with this”
- Be clear – negotiated, brief, assertive response – embedded language serves to muddle the episode, since the chemical reaction in the brain has reduced processing ability
- Do not promise that you can help or that others can help
- Encourage thought by using empowering questions eg ‘HOW’ questions not ‘WHY’ questions
- Focus on the details of the problem rather than the anger
I am a registered clinician with BUPA, PPP, Pruhealth, AVIVA etc and have a specialism in children with educational and behavioural issues. I am a Family Therapist and a Chartered Psychologist, so can offer excellent interventions to create the life and harmony you want.
CHERYL MASSEY C. Psychol MSc MSc MA BSc PGCE
Chartered Psychologist and Systemic Psychotherapist
Natural Health, 4 Old Cross, Hertford SG14 1RB
07974 261744 / info@cherylmassey.co.uk / www.cherylmassey.co.uk29.06.10 | natural health, feature
